Why i can never be free

letter i sent to Miztress Sophie

Miztress Sophie, please forgive me for taking up Your precious time but i just wish to apologise for not serving You in the correct manner You deserve lately but wish You to know that i am always thinking of You.

It will be 3 years on 30 May approximately Miztress Sophie that You first allowed me to apply for the position to become one of Your slaves. Thank You so much Miztress Sophie for keeping me as Your slave until now.

Thank You so much Miztress Sophie for the way You have manipulated me over the past 3 years so that i can never leave You and will be Your slave forever.

Thank You so much Miztress Sophie for being so beautiful and powerful that from the moment i first see You i was instantly compelled to do anything You said on cam so that You could possess humiliating pictures of me that would hold me to You forever.

Thank You so much Miztress Sophie for having complete ownership of these pictures  to use them in anyway You wish so that i can never truly be free and will always have to inevitably submit to Your authority.

Thank You so much Miztress Sophie for ‘scaring the shit out of me’ that day in October 2009 when i had wrongly stayed away from You and because of that You posted a picture of me eating dogfood on dommespace. Thank You for being so ‘strict’ with me so that You taught me ‘Your Rules’ so that i learnt that i can never leave You.

Thank You so much Miztress Sophie for the way You sometimes ignore me for days/weeks always knowing that i will always have to be here for You because of the hold You have over me even though i know i mean nothing to You.

Thank You so much Miztress Sophie for having such a strong hunk for a boyfriend with a huge dick who You truly love. It would be an honour to have Him ‘beat me up’ in Your presence so that You know Your control over me is absolute. i hope that He has seen what a pathetic, skinny, tiny dick loser i am and how little i mean to You.

Thank You so much Miztress Sophie if You have humiliated me by showing me on cam or my pictures to Your sister. Please tell Her that it is an honour to be the slave of her magnificent, stunningly beautiful Sister and i feel privileged if i have been found worthy to be ‘shown off.

Miztress Sophie, i am so sorry for writing so much and taking up Your precious time but i just wanted You to know that i never take lightly the hold and control You have and the power it gives You over me and because of that i am always thinking about You, no matter where i am or what i am doing.

i know i can never be free

2 week mindfuck

14 days ago i went on messenger to say hello to Miztress Sophie, i had not served Her for a few weeks since i was given a 5000 line punishment. It had brainwashed me so much i could not operate in the ‘real’ world anymore, i was in zombie-like state. The power of Miztress Sophie scared me so much i just had to be given leave for a while.

Anyway, i wanted to say hello and to tell Her that i am still always thinking about Her. i was expecting to be ignored on the grounds that i had not been serving Her recently. i said “hello” and within seconds chemicals flowed in my brain and i found myself getting really ‘worked up’ and excited. i looked at Her beautiful pictures & watched Her stunning videos and checked out Her blogs. This really increased the intensity of my emotions and i was suddenly drawn straight back into Her web and instantly under her spell again.

i explained this to Her and She replied “i’m like a little grovelling puppy dog, u seem to come and swarm back in here whenever it suits you”. i begged Her forgiveness and explained my reasons for staying away and again expressed the feelings i was having at that moment and how much my desire was to please Her. She asked me if i had seen Her latest blogs which i replied yes. It was Her way of asking me if i understand the power She has and what She can make slaves do.  We talked about Her blogs and then we started talking about Tribute and before i knew it i was agreeing to pay whatever she demanded. Over the course of the evening She cleverly gradually increased the amount She wanted until She had doubled the original amount, which was already high to begin with. Her power is so awesome i found myself compelled to obey Her.

Over the next couple of days Miztress Sophie increased the Tribute to even more so that i only had £15 to live on for the next 2 weeks. i was given the privilege of seeing Her on cam (i can’t tell you what i see because some things have to remain private) and of course i served Her on cam also. i get so nervous on cam but i also love the feeling of knowing Miztress Sophie can see me. Miztress Sophie kindly wrote a blog about the power and control She has over me and included pictures. This is a real ‘Mind Fuck’. It is such a privilege to have Miztress Sophie want to talk about me and show me off as Her obedient slave but also i so hate having my pictures online. Knowing i have no say in the matter just enforces how much power and control Miztress Sophie has over me.

It was at this time that Miztress Sophie begun to leave me for hours without talking to me. i am not complaining in any way. i know Miztress Sophie is very busy and has many slaves and i am nothing to Her and i am not worthy of Her attention. Miztress Sophie is so clever and knows exactly what she is doing. It is Her ‘Mind Fuck’ game where she leaves me for hours/if not days begging for Her to speak to me to give me orders or instructions. During this time my brain works overtime and my feelings get so intense it it impossible to describe them. i am so desperate for Her attention all i want in the whole Universe is for Miztress Sophie to speak to me. It reaches a point where i will agree to anything and it is at these moments that Miztress Sophie cleverly makes Her demands. She has now demanded the same amount of Tribute again this week and of course i am compelled to obey Her. She has so much control over me. i am now at a stage where She allows me to cook my dinner but then i have to wait until She gives me permission to eat it, usually many hours after and sometimes even not until the next day, i will go all day without eating anything. She has told me that from now on i will always eat me dinner cold. She also has control over everything else i do in my life. She knows where i am at all times and i am only allowed to go out my flat or even move away from my computer (including going to the toilet or going to bed) when Miztress Sophie gives me permission. my latest task was to get up at 04:00 am and leave online messages every 10 minutes until Miztress Sophie came online. Foolishly i was late with just one message and i have been told that i will be punished later. i am already very nervous about how harsh the punishment will be, Miztress Sophie can be so very strict at times. This is what makes Her so Superior. i love being Miztress Sophie’s slave so much, i love the feeling i get from knowing She has total control of me. It is a paradox because although She owns me and i am Her property, it is only when i am with Miztress Sophie that i am truly free.

i cannot go without writing about the influence of Miztress Sophie’s magnificent videos and pictures. i have quite a few of them and they are incredible. Miztress Sophie is so stunningly beautiful, i spend hours/days watching Her videos and looking at Her amazing pictures. Knowing that i am her slave is such an amazing feeling. i am so hypnotised by these that while watching them i will obey whatever Miztress Sophie demands.